Monthly Archive for July, 2005

IT vs Management!

Published
by
Anton
on July 17, 2005
in Humor
. 0 Comments

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.

He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me ? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The woman below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be in Information Technology,” said the balloonist.

“I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”

The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”

Harry Potter

Published
by
Anton
on July 14, 2005
in Blogging
. 0 Comments

I have not finished the fourth book yet, but saw something rather bizarre in The Times yesterday.

Apparently, a shop in Canada put the books on the shelves slightly early (they are supposed to be on sale on saturday) and several people bought copies before the shop manager realised.

The interesting part is that the publisher has now won a court injucntion preventing anyone from reading the book which they legally purchased. Before I start whining about how unfair this is, it is worth pointing out that the case was a John Doe case, implying that they do not know who bought the books. So unless they read it in a newspaper, the consumers probably have no idea that they can be fined for telling anyone details about the book, or in fact for simply opening it and reading it.

I cannot understand how any country can have laws that allow someone to purchase a book, with the intention of reading it, and then make a blanket case which makes it illegal for them to read the book which they bought!

It is rediculous to assume that the poor people who bought the books even know that this case has been to court and that they are not allowed to read the book. However, at the same time. The publisher does not know who bought the book, so an anonymous blogger account is all they need to spill the beans about the story contained in it. One would have to be careful though, as the lawsuit makes it illegal to even mention the name of any new characters in the book!

The world is strange, and the law is rather f*cked up if you ask me.

Jobs

Published
by
Anton
on July 13, 2005
in Blogging
. 0 Comments

I’m with Dark here… Finding a job is a pain in the ar*e!

Ok, so maybe I am overreacting - I have a permanent job, the only problem is that it isn’t until September. I need money to pay the rent until then (no, moving home is not something I am considering: I like my freedom too much)

My girlfriend is applying for JobSeekers allowance, but I doubt i could get it if I wanted to apply.

For a start the forms are longer than any one persons arm. In fact, they are probably longer than several people’s arms together. Then they want to know every single detail of the people you share a house with. Stuff like every single bank account they have, their jobs, their penis size. Well, the last one is an exaggeration, but the others are pretty head-on.

I don’t have a proper contract for the summer, so there is no way that I will get anything, because they will think I do not have to pay any rent!

So in the meantime I am have applied for a job to cut grass all day (clever one as I am allergic to grass) and as a motorbike delivery boy. The odd thing is that they both require a CV. What sort of good will a CV do them? It is not like you really need any training or education to cut grass or deliver food, so why bother asking for a CV?

The icing on the cake was when I talked to my bro, Shadowbane. He is applying for his British Citizenship, and presumably had the same crap to fill out as Dark did. The really good part was when they asked him for his English GCSE certificate to prove that he can speak English. You might have thought that the fact he was born in an English speaking country, and English is his mother tongue that he should be able to speak it, but presumably that isn’t good enough…

I suppose I should apply for mine, it makes jobs much easier as I dont have to give 4 photocopies of various passports to prove I can work here, despite have a NI card!

Glass and plants

Published
by
Anton
on July 12, 2005
in Blogging
. 0 Comments

Went to Kew yesterday, having never been before.
Kew

The entry was slightly steep at £7, but it only cost me £3 to get there so not too bad.

The glass art was amazing, and really made the glasshouses look interesting, though some of the plants were really cool on their own.

Photos up here

Results, Jobs, Houses

Published
by
Anton
on July 7, 2005
in Blogging
. 0 Comments

So My results are out. Unofficial as they are I got a lower second, or 2:2.

I was hoping to get a 2:1, but am still quite happy as my job offer has been reviewed with the result, and the offer still stands. So in September I will be starting work with IBM.

Now all I have to do is find a house!?!

Cows and Sheep

Published
by
Anton
on July 7, 2005
in Blogging
. 0 Comments

So I just spent the last few days in Northern Ireland with my girlfriend.

The first day there (well, the next morning as we arrived late in the evening) I went with her family to a Christian Festival thing, called Summer Madness. I am a confirmed Christian, but have not been to church for a while, and if you ignore Xmas and Easter, I have not been to a service in years. It was kind of odd to go to this, but I quite enjoyed it…

Then we headed out to a lake, which I have forgotten the name of, and had lunch out there. We were lucky and had reasonable weather, so we headed on to the Silent Valley. It’s name is from the fact that it is Silent (Well, duh…) and it is a large reservoir for water for Belfast. It was quite nice, but short lived as the rain finally caught up with us.

We hired a car another day, as we found we could get a Ka for £25 for the day, which was damn amazing, as most places wouldnt insure me as I am under 23, not to mention that they were all more like £40 or more.

We drove off somewhere into the counrtyside, and took a scenic road to find somewhere for the picnic lunch we brought with us. We eventually ended on a headland, with a view of the sea though you could hardly see it through the cloud. There were 4 or so cars parked there, and several cows and a whole pile of sheep. (Photos to follow)

So we had lunch there, sat in the car as the cows did seem slightly menacing as they licked the cars. Occasionally they would walk right up past the car, and stop and stare at you. It was a very odd feeling. Staring into the huge dark eyes of an animal that could push the entire car off the edge of the hill if it wanted to.

The other thing that happened over the last few days, is that while waitin for the delayed flight over, I decided to buy a book. I had never read any of the harry potter books, so bought the first one.

Merely five days later, and I am halfway through the third book, and looking at a cheap place to buy the fourth. If I keep up this pace I might have to buy a copy of the new one when it comes out, instead of waiting for a friend to finish their copy.