I’m with Dark here… Finding a job is a pain in the ar*e!

Ok, so maybe I am overreacting – I have a permanent job, the only problem is that it isn’t until September. I need money to pay the rent until then (no, moving home is not something I am considering: I like my freedom too much)

My girlfriend is applying for JobSeekers allowance, but I doubt i could get it if I wanted to apply.

For a start the forms are longer than any one persons arm. In fact, they are probably longer than several people’s arms together. Then they want to know every single detail of the people you share a house with. Stuff like every single bank account they have, their jobs, their penis size. Well, the last one is an exaggeration, but the others are pretty head-on.

I don’t have a proper contract for the summer, so there is no way that I will get anything, because they will think I do not have to pay any rent!

So in the meantime I am have applied for a job to cut grass all day (clever one as I am allergic to grass) and as a motorbike delivery boy. The odd thing is that they both require a CV. What sort of good will a CV do them? It is not like you really need any training or education to cut grass or deliver food, so why bother asking for a CV?

The icing on the cake was when I talked to my bro, Shadowbane. He is applying for his British Citizenship, and presumably had the same crap to fill out as Dark did. The really good part was when they asked him for his English GCSE certificate to prove that he can speak English. You might have thought that the fact he was born in an English speaking country, and English is his mother tongue that he should be able to speak it, but presumably that isn’t good enough…

I suppose I should apply for mine, it makes jobs much easier as I dont have to give 4 photocopies of various passports to prove I can work here, despite have a NI card!

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About Anton Piatek

Professional bit herder, amateur photographer. Linux and tech geek
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